I Know They Say Looks Can Kill
by Smackalicious
Summary: Abby, Abby, Abby. When will you ever learn? CHARACTER DEATHS! Eek! PARODY. DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY EVER.


**Alright, an explanation. I mentioned something in my previous fic Holding On insert shameless fic pimpage here & it got me thinking. And I felt the need to write this parody fic. DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. If you do, I feel very sorry for you. Very sorry. You will laugh. If you don't, I will apologize to you. It's supposed to be funny. We'll see.**

* * *

McGee entered the bullpen, where Ziva and Tony sat, clicking away at their keyboards. He looked around for a sign of Gibbs, but their boss was nowhere in sight. 

"Hey, guys," he said, announcing his arrival. "Have either of you seen Gibbs?"

"No, why?" Tony asked. "You two got a hot date or something?" He smirked at his own joke, looking to Ziva for a laugh and, receiving just a dull look, looked back to McGee.

"No, I just haven't seen him around for awhile." He sat down at his desk and started working on his own when a high-pitched scream penetrated the building.

"What the hell was that?" Ziva asked, bolting out of her chair and reaching for her gun.

McGee's eyes widened. "Abby."

The trio looked to each other, then rushed for the stairs, not bothering to even look at the elevator.

They reached the basement and Abby's lab in record time, and heard loud sobbing emanating from the room.

"Abby?" Tony called in, worried that she might be hurt. "Are you okay?"

"Noooooo," she moaned, not able to concoct a more literate response.

"Let's get in there," McGee commented softly, and Tony and Ziva nodded. They burst in, ready to take down anyone who would dare to hurt their precious lab technician, and saw only Abby herself, arms wrapped around her middle, rocking herself back and forth, mascara tears running down her face.

"Abby, are you physically injured?" Ziva asked, reluctantly lowering her gun.

Abby shook her head, still sobbing.

"Did someone try to hurt you?" Tony asked, as they continued to step closer.

She shook her head again.

"What's wrong, Abbs?" McGee asked, sliding his gun back into its holster.

Abby reached out a shaky hand, pointing to the floor in front of her. The three agents hurried to see what she pointed at, and were shocked to find...

"Gibbs!" Ziva gasped, as Tony and McGee kneeled to the floor, checking the older man for a pulse.

"I killed him, Ziva!" Abby cried. "I killed Gibbs!" She turned around and flung her head onto her computer desk, sobbing harder.

Ziva stepped up behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder and gently, but awkwardly, patting her back. "I'm sure you didn't _kill _him..."

"He's dead, isn't he?!" Abby yelled, throwing Ziva's hand from her shoulder.

"Abby, what happened?" McGee asked, standing and facing her, as Ziva shook out her arm.

Abby shrugged, turning away from them. "He just came down here to give me this," she pointed to a Caf-Pow! on her desk, "and I wanted to show him how much I appreciated it..."

The three of them groaned. "Abby, you know what we told you about that," Tony said, standing himself.

"Tony, I didn't mean to kill him! Why would I want to kill Gibbs???"

"We know you didn't mean it, honey," Tony soothed, walking closer to her. "Come on, we should get you out of here."

"What's going to happen to him, Tony?" she asked as he guided her out the door, Ziva and McGee trailing behind. "What's going to happen to us?"

Tony sighed. "We'll deal with it. Just like we dealt with Ducky."

She started sobbing again. "I never meant to kill him, either! I'm a murderer!" She threw her head into Tony's shoulder, sobbing into his shirt.

Tony rubbed her back and addressed Ziva and McGee. "You guys know what to do."

"Call the Director, start looking for a replacement," McGee stated. "We know the drill."

"Good," Tony said. "Looks like I'm temporary team leader now, and as such, I have one order for you, Miss Sciuto."

He looked into her eyes as they stopped walking, and she sniffled.

"No more killer hugs."

* * *

**I told you so.**


End file.
